Ring Ring
"Customer service?"
"Yes, how can I help you today?"
Customer: "Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?"
Cs Rep: "Yes, I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?"
Customer: "Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to install now. What do I do first?"
Cs Rep: "The first step is to open your heart. Have you located your Heart?"
Customer: "Yes I have, but there are several other programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?"
Cs Rep: "What programs are running?"
Customer: "Let's see, I have Past-hurt.exe, Low-esteem.exe, Afraid.exe, and perhaps Resentment.com running right now."
CS Rep: "No problem. Love will gradually erase Past-hurt.exe from your current operating system. It may remain in your
permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually overwrite Low-esteem.exe with a module of its own called
High-Esteem.exe. However, you have to completely turn off Afraid.exe and Resentment.com. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed.
Can you turn those off?"
Customer: "I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?"
CS Rep: "My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and
invoke Forgiveness.exe. Do this as many times as necessary until Afraid.exe and Resentment.com have been completely erased."
Customer: "Okay, done. Love has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?"
CS Rep: "Yes. You should receive a message that says
it will reinstall for the life of your Heart. Do you see that message?"
Customer: "Yes I do. Is it completely installed?"
CS Rep: "Yes, but remember that you have only the base
program. You need to begin connecting to the other Hearts in order to get the upgrades."
Customer: "OOPS, I have an error message already. What should I do?"
CS Rep: "What does the message say?"
Customer: "It says "Error 412-program not run on internal components. What does that mean?"
CS Rep: "Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem.
It means that the Love program is set up to run on external Hearts but has
not yet been run on your Heart. It is one of those complicated programming
things, but in non-technical terms it means you have to "Love" your own machine before it can "Love" others."
Customer: "So what should I do?"
CS Rep: "Can you pull down the dictionary called 'Self-Acceptance'?"
Customer: "Yes, I have it."
CS Rep: "Excellent, you're getting good at this."
Customer: "Thank you."
CS Rep: "You're welcome. Click on the following files
and then copy them to the "My Heart" directory: Forgive-self.doc, and
Realize-worth.txt, and Acknowledge-limitations.Doc. The system will
overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete, back."
Customer: "Got it. Hey! My Heart is filling up with new files. Smile.mpg
is now playing on my monitor right now and it shows that Peace.exe. and
Contentiment.com are copying themselves all over my Heart. Is this Normal?"
CS Rep: "Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but
eventually everything gets downloaded at the proper time. So, Love is
installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing before I go."
Customer: "Yes?"
CS Rep: "Love is freeware. Be sure to give it and its
various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with other
people and they will return some similarly cool modules back to you."
Customer: "I will. Thanks for your help. By the way, what's your name?"
CS Rep: "You can call me the Divine Cardiologist, also
known as the Great Physician, but most call me God. Most people feel all
they need is an annual check-up to stay heart-healthy, but the manufacturer
(Me) suggests a schedule of daily maintenance for maximum efficiency. Put another way, keep in close touch. A
little love goes a long way."
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